Moron of the Week #610
A customer in line at a Dairy Queen in St. Louis, Mo., dropped her purse. It exploded, sending black sequins into the air; customers could smell gunpowder. No one said a word until she cried out “I ain’t got no gun!”, grabbed her shredded purse, and ran. The store manager wrote down her license number and called police. Investigators say that indeed it was a gun: a low-quality one that discharged when it hit the floor. The license led to an unidentified woman who, police say, was an off-duty police officer. The cop first denied that she was in the restaurant, then claimed she ran because she was “under fire,” and then finally admitted that the gun discharged in her purse, but she had thrown it out her car window along the freeway because she might be “in trouble.” She resigned from the police department. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch) ...Total recommended prison time: 30 days for careless handling of a firearm, 90 days for fleeing the scene of an accident, 1 year for bringing disrepute to the police department, 5 years for making false statements in a police investigation, 10 years for ditching the gun unsafely, and 15 years for using bad grammar in public.
Available in This is True: Book Collection Vol. 12