Desperate Excuses
Douglas Kelly, 39, called police in Slidell, La., to report he had been robbed and kidnaped. He had stopped at a gas station to buy dog food, and robbers locked him in his trunk, he said. Luckily, he told the cops, he escaped thanks to a release lever in the trunk. But the gas station doesn’t sell dog food, police found, and Kelly’s car’s trunk doesn’t have a release lever. It took an hour to break him down: he made up the story, they say he admitted, because he didn’t want to admit to his girlfriend where he really was. The alternate story was “to insulate himself from the wrath of his pregnant girlfriend finding out” he had gotten drunk and spent $500 at a strip club, the investigating detective said. He was charged with falsifying a police report, which carries a $500 fine. (New Orleans Times-Picayune) ...I can hardly wait to hear his explanation for that.
Available in This is True: Book Collection Vol. 12